holiday. >> oh, boy. >> that's the only reason why anyone is allowed to be off. watch every weekday at 5 p.m. when i co-host "the five" and check me out on instagram. >> [cheers and applause]. >> [cheering]. >> greg: i gave my pen to jesse and he didn't give it back. i have to use one ever these stupid pens. screw you. what a great monday. a big show because it's the first "gutfeld!" super duper

journalism aards. >> ♪ ♪ -- awards. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: i don't know. this is where we honor writers who impress today. tonight the winner is jeremy bail for the rap and entertainment website. he broke a major story about a famous tv anchor saying something disgusting. >> a lot of homeless service it's not working.

the solution is lining to the homeless like the woman who says we are spoiled and need tough love or we will never get off the street. >> greg, what do you think about that approach? >> i agree with everything the little lady says and i am sorry about the cart. >> greg: i referred to dana perino as little lady. dana perino was a veteran news anchor who was the white house press secretary during the bush administration. she laughed it off and continued. you will think i told dana perino to take off her shoes and get in the kitchen where she belongs which is what i say to

jesse every day. the writer was shocked at dana's response when he described as unfazed. like she is a war reporter continuing to report while bombs were raining down. was she supposed to slap me across the face when she knows how much i like that? why doesn't she care. the reporter could have answered it himself. why should we be unfazed? over being called a little lady. >> she is small enough to be a stocking stuffer. >> an oven hit is her sleeping bag. nothing slows her down except for glue traps.

make sure she is not in your pockets when you do laundry. she is used to being under the microscope to have her clothe tailored. good things come in small packages when she is smuggling heroin. breaking news, a woman can take a joke. the writer reached out to fox our company for comment. that led to our "gutfeld!" complaint department. >> hey, joe, another request for comment. i need you to take care of it. >> i will get right on this. >> thank you. [crumbling paper]. >> [applauding].

>> greg: they expected dana to beonded. they decided to be offended for her as well. dana? >> if you think that's offensive you should hear what i call greg in private. he is a no talent [bleep] -- i have more talent in my [bleep] than he does and being around that [bleep] makes me want to [bleep] all over the floor. i know squirrels request bigger [bleep] than him. do i need to go on? >> greg: wow! you clap for that. we went to jeremy for a comment. we reached out for a comment. we tried to review his other writing to see if he is always this stupid. the actual email we sent and no

response. people who don't know what they are talking about trying to create a scandal off a single line. yahoo news reprinted this story. what is yahoo news? it's stupid lefty takes. look at this headline from media matters. greg gutfeld calls for the arrest of dr. jill as pay back for the indictment of donald trump. again they would not a joke even if it started with the words knock- knock. the clip they were so offended by. >> i am not that interested in locking up hunter or joe biden. the other side would lock every one ever us if they could am let's -- let's go. let's put them behind bars. every biden. dr. jill -- she is not a real

doctor. how long practicing on patients and telling them he is an actual doctor? >> [laughing]. >> [applauding]. >> greg: you can't tell when someone is joking if you have no sense of humor. that got picked up by hacks. they can't write if they admit it's a joke. they lie to viewers or readers. you can see how nothing matters your filter is pre-perceived. fill a hole and go home and cry yourself to sleep. you would be happier working on pot holes. there you would have something to be proud of at the end of the day. this ain't it, jeremy. let's welcome tonight's guest. he was on s&l.

rob snyder. the mind of a news man bill hemmer. >> [cheers and applause]. >> the rabble rouser with a face like houser, guy benson. >> [cheers and applause]. >> wiry and fiery and has tearstained desire. kat timpf. rob, what kind of connotation is there to little lady that i missed? could you imagine watching that and deciding this is a story that requires following up on? >> i think 3/5th of this group are insulted by what you did.

i didn't realize dana was a midget until this episode. >> greg: we call them little people. >> little people live longer. you never hear the nba 7 foot basketball player turned 100 today. >> greg: they are always tiny people. you take smaller steps. no science there. >> no. >> greg: bill hemmer you are a journalist or claim to be one. does this embarrass you? you had to do bad stories. >> what was offensive the way you motioned with your right thumb for a split milli-second. he is on to something.

>> greg: an alt-right symbol? >> only can you answer that. maybe you are on to something. i work with dana every day. she is taller than you. >> greg: no. >> [laughing]. greg some people are convinced they are the wrong gender. if she wants to identify as 5 foot 7 that is her right but he is 4 foot 11. >> i said my parents are short and i married a girl shorter than me. we are breeding down. >> you would need to be 5 foot 5 to be taller than him. >> greg: why is this turning into an attack to me? didn't we have this argument on friday. >> i am always here.

you say way worse stuff to me. why does yahoo never get up set on my behalf. i would love to be called little lady. it's mentally ill alcoholic scarecrow. in 2015, salon referred to me as an outraged parent or administration of which i am neither. they could have just rewound the clip but they don't care. everybody hates fox news. >> greg: nobody will check to see if somebody was making a joke. the one about me saying dr. jill should be in prison was taken seriously? they don't watch the clip. guy, you have some entry-level reporting jobs.

did you do anything like this? i feel bad that somebody has to do that for a living. >> you avoided the key crime not calling her doctor. you were very good about doing that. for people who don't understand what media matters is, it's a group of left wingers paid by somebody to sit chained to a radiator watching us all day long to get angry about am they are like clockwork orange. i am convinced at some point in our history, we have converted one ever these media people into liking us. >> greg: that's why they stop. the daily beast and other places. people are paid to watch this show. because the clips of the "the five" and this show generates eyeballs and that pays for advertising. it's like barnacelos a ship.

-- on a ship. >> when someone has impure thoughts about fox news. it's off to the gulag and they find the next person out of college. >> greg: you are correct. i won't call you a little lady. >> [laughing]. >> greg: i don't know wathat means. i don't know what little lady. what is wrong with that, kat timpf, you are a woman. >> thank you -- because he had a long impressive professional career. if you are able to handle being a press sect for the president you are able to be called that. >> greg: that's not bad little lady. coming up brain dead politicians make bad decisions.

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>> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: show is bad and fetterman is worse. who has dips on the hearse? biden went to inspect a crumbling high way but made a crumbling senator fetterman. he made biden look like the brains, a first. >> i am standing next to the president, a collapsed bridge. he will make sure we get this fixed quick, fast as well too. a president committed to

[inaudible] and on top of that, the jewel law [inaudible] bill. >> greg: first you laugh and then you feel dirty when you are laughing. he is like yoda. bald and can't speak. to see someone mutilate the english language you have to watch jesse watters prime-time and he didn't have a stroke. biden is no better. >> a truck pulled up selling weapons. selling guns. selling ar-15s. selling weapons. well, guess what? you do that now you go to jail. we made it harder for people to buy stabilized braces.

[inaudible]. >> greg: i believe that's impossible. no one has seen a truck pull up and start selling weapons. outside of ukraine. second all a brace did is attach the gun to your arm to be fired using one hand. don't you miss the days when joe talked about corn pop? that made sense. where is katie pavlich when you need her. god save the gwen, man! -- the queen, man. >> god save the queen, man. >> greg: god help us. this is more sad than funny. how a one party system works when it controls the media.

emperor has no clothes but it's a president and two senators. reminds me of a former lead er who had a stroke but his ey eyebrows kept going up. he was compared to trump. we reached out to see if they will compare biden to him. what does joe say. >> yeah, yeah, come on i like this guy fetterman. he makes me look good. i will take him on the campaign trail with me. that's my slogan. a better man than fetterman. i might forget my wife's name but this guy starts a speech with good night everybody.

i have to be careful. he sets the bar so low, i might trip and fall. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: trying to figure out who joe was referring to when he said god save the queen. maybe rachel lavine. >> fetterman he is not well. that's a shame for him and his family. as for the president, i saw him in connecticut on friday and philadelphia on saturday and in california today. not a sand bag around. not one in sight. when a senator shows up and dressed for gym class. >> greg: you need clothes that are easy to put on and take off or you will there for days. speaking more myself.

everybody gets touchy about this. my god, are you being ablist? or ageist? well, we are not running for office. i think everything is on the table. >>axios wrote a story about things that come out of the president's mouth like god save the queen man. axios said republicans are weaponizing biden's quirky sayings. if we didn't have any form of recording device in society and just taking their word for it, maybe we would say we have a president who is older and has quirker words. the problem for biden we have cameras and he says nonsense.

we know his age. that's something that is fair to consider and talk about and even joke about on a show like this. >> greg: you made me think and that's hard. try not to think. kat, what that guy said, imagine when we didn't have modern technology. we had no idea. what if a lot of our presidents were like that and we didn't know? >> it's possible. my favorite defense was it's ridiculous for conservatives to pounce on this because it's not the first time he said god save the queen when it makes no sense. okay. [laughing]. how is that better? he never makes sense. he is consistent. nobody cares. i don't think people care. i don't know if it's more sad to watch that or knowing i could never get elected.

>> digger: . >> greg: you would never let him fly a plane or operate on your kid. late night comedy. this should be on every night. remember chevy chase going after gerald ford because he tripped once -- remember? >> the fetterman thing is just because you can't talk doesn't mean you can't dress nicely. he goes to neiman-marcus and it's hard for the guys, shirt, i need a shirt for the back of my head. it's hard. they want to get him out of the score. give him a hoodie and basketball shorts and get him out of here. he is affecting our business right now. >> [laughing]. >> greg: i lovedgressing like that. now i can't because it's of the fetterman look -- [laughing].

fire bad. [laughing]. you better not point this stuff out. you are cruel. you are right. i am cruel but i am also honest. up next the academy holds down the scales to keep out the straight white males. (woman) what if all i do isn't enough? or what if i can do diabetes differently? (avo) now you can with once-weekly mounjaro. mounjaro helps your body regulate blood sugar, and mounjaro can help decrease how much food you eat. 3 out of 4 people reached an a1c of less than 7%. plus people taking mounjaro lost up to 25 pounds. mounjaro is not for people with type 1 diabetes or children. don't take mounjaro, if you're allergic to it, you or your family have medullary thyroid cancer,

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tide is busting laundry's biggest myth... that cold water can't clean. cold water, on those stains? ♪ cold water can't clean tough stains? i'd say that myth is busted. turn to cold, with tide. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: is the woke curse making movies worse? oscar voters slam rules for 2024 that requires films to meet diversity requirements to make best picture. it points to the race, gender, sexual orientation and disability of cast and crew members and show evidence they drink bud light and still stop

at starting. producer will ask them who they sleep with. before they asked them to lock the door and take off their pants. many producers call the new rules crazy. very few people in the industry supports them. as popular as the nut mixes in vending machines. not so much funny as it is true. left it in there. having second thoughts. >> keep it in. >> greg: all of them remained anonymous because they are afraid they will be canceled for speaking out that's why they like one nation with brian kill mead. would the godfather have been

the same motive. leave the gun and take the puberty blockers. >> [laughing]. >> guy benson speaking of blocking puberty. >> mine is natural. >> greg: how did you do it you? are 73 years old. this is interesting. how hollywood would like everybody else to do this and then they realize they need to be exempt from it because they understand it hurts your ability to be excellent. >> and to make good art that is compelling or accurate. you touched on something that is right. the quotes in the various news articles about this of people complaining. sharp and correct complaints anonymous. they are angry.

they don't have the courage to say it out loud because they want to keep their jobs. they will make movies with stupid rules even if they sacrifice the art. they are crushing the art. >> greg: art is trumped by diversity. does it bother you, rob? >> i can't wait to see if spielberg had to do another lincoln. a cabinet member being asian, not saying anything. i am not asian enough to help me unless you have a picture of my asian mom? >> [laughing]. >> do you like solve crimes

together. >> greg: my mom has ancient chinese secrets? >> i have no eyebrows. asian mom was nominated for best picture. >> [cheers and applause]. >> congratulations. >> yeah! i am so proud. you are right. no one with talk about it. the thing about hollywood. they are afraid. what will delay my firing the longest? they are on their way out. it's great when dryfus said this is complete [bleep]. hopefully more people will stand up. that's all it takes is people to stand up and say enough of this

crap. >> greg: it's happening, but kat, i think woke-ism stopped but not going down. it will stay at this level forever. it never goes away. who would have thought you would have the ladies of perpetual indulgence in a dodgers game. kat? >> i am upset about how hollywood deters freedom of speech. when a movie is on people get mad at me for talking? >> [laughing]. >> i don't watch movies. they are too long. >> greg: but they would pass this on to the rest of the world but don't like it. that's how you do climate. that's why they fly in private

jet. they are exempt and force it on others. >> i want to keep my job. >> i want to go back to the nuts in the vending machine am we had a vending machine in this building that dispensed nuts. 25 cents. today you have to go to the hospital to buy new nuts. >> [laughing]. >> greg: i didn't see that coming. >> rob and your friends in hollywood. >> i don't have if i have any left. >> i am dubious do they list them in the credits in that category? >> disabilities is another one. if it's a good enough role would

tell the producers i am willing to hurt myself. >> greg: i have gentleman's bladder. you can't prove it. that's a disability. don't laugh. 1 in 20 people have it. it's funny. that's a disability. >> hand him a catheter. >> greg: i missthode ads. -- those ads. they were everywhere. did i miss out on something. now it's a pillow. that's a step up. caths out and pillow. >> with every pillow you get a high cath"e.r.." >> greg: up next local news sure to please. what do we do now? we live... ♪

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>> coast to coast with stories that matter most. you are watching local news with

10-time emmy award winner chet. here's chet! >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: a little house keeping over the weekend. chet won 3 more emmys. he's up to 13 and also in intensive care because he fell on one of the emes. they are trying to remove it --. >> regional scrag yes. -->> greg: local news where each guest shares a story from where they are. a new cd player. >> this is the d.c. area a parrot escaped his owner's home in april and gone 2 months and discovered 40 miles away in arlington, virginia and returned

to his loving family. the wife is named cat. the bird escaped on 4-20 and also a kat reference. i think this bird is pissed. he got as far away from baltimore as it could and someone returned it to baltimore. what the [bleep]? >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: bill? >> pretty good, guy. i am from ohio. east cleveland. south euclid. i found video of a fawn in the back yard. roll the video. to those who say defund the police. they are killing animals. this cop is like snow white. that fawn is in the fence crying and here comes the cop. the cop is like snow white.

this is why we fund the police. >> man the barbecue. >> [laughing]. >> save bambi. >> greg: you don't see these videos on the loop with the brutality stuff. they are saving half a million deer a year. i made that up. take that out of context. according to greg gutfeld -- >> that's body cam video. i appreciate your vote. >> greg: rob, do i left over joe biden joke? >> it seems weird now. >> greg: i know. sometimes he speeds in code. hey, the queen, god save the queen. bring longeria back covered in chocolate chip mint ice cream.

>> greg: your local story from? >> i am in arizona and being asian this caught my attention. they seized swim bladders. that's a fish part. asians if it's swims, crawls, flies, we will eat it. any part it doesn't matter. the only thing that flies we don't eat airplanes. >> greg: thank god for that. there has to be a jennet -- genetic predlication for disgust. i can't eat anything that moves. >> there is a word for that --

starvation. >> greg: that will change it. >> most of the stuff like the endangered stuff specious stuff. -- species stuff. it's an asian guy [bleep]. even if it's the last rhino, it's worth it. >> greg: sorry, rhino. >> women don't want to bang us asians but we are ready. >> greg: he is a true rhino. last word, kat. >> from wisconsin from a , where i am not from and never been. you get paid to eat cheese. only $15 an hour but 9 hours a week.

you have to go there and you have to resolve your life at eating cheese. >> greg: you are testing? >> to describe it. you taste 24 cheese samples and 12 pizzas a week for $135 a week. you have to pay for gas. i don't want to eat cheese. i want to blow my brains out but you have to eat cheese. >> greg: stringy brains. >> i don't know that is what brains looked like. >> greg: i don't know who won. >> bambi. >> greg: models trade studs for

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>> greg: romance novels are transitioning to sweet, soft and supportive men and not the hard body fabio types we have seen in the past. do we have the new covers? what do you make of this, kat,

destroy your love -- those were old school. do we have the new school. look at them now. see the one on the right. there you go, guys. >> yeah. i think fabio wrote this first of all. it did not convince me. romance novels are going woke. a man on the cover holding a latte. >> greg: look at the difference. on the left you have a real men and on the other one you have a kilmeade-esque atrocity. >> fabio is hurt by this. >> greg: i love fabio. he's done our show. >> he got his citizenship the same day my wife did. he peculiared me up.

i -- picked me up. i am going to pick you up now. [laughing]. i feel for him and losing work. it sounds like you might be gaining work. >> greg: [laughing]. >> i softened up for a reason. >> greg: bill hemmer you are a hard body hunk. worried they will do this with news anchors? >> i am glad you admitted. this is alpha-male, beta-male. send him to my subway stock good luck. to the homeless guy on the corner good luck. let's make america fabio! and see how that works. >> greg: i was trying to follow that. make america fabio again. i like that.

i called you gus. >> that's my dog's name. >> greg: it didn't register. went with it. you don't care? >> i really don't. >> [laughing]. >> i am adding it to the hr file. it's thicker every time i come on the show. >> greg: she wanted to see you on all force. >> right that down. >> you are going to be so rich. >> i know -- fours. >> i can't wait for them to get their hands on that. last word. keep going. >> [laughing]. >> these books have to be terrible. the love scenes in the books. dozens of pages of him stopping to get a signed consent form from the woman. then they take an intercourse break so he can sob for half an

hour. >> greg: in the books, 50 shades of gray the sex is bordering --. >> you read 50 shades of gray? >> no, if he did. >> you brought it up. >> greg: you are kink shaming me. you can't have that kind of sex because that's not consensual. >> you are against kink shaming? >> greg: i am not sure. don't go away. gus. we'll be right back.

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bass pro shops and cabela's, voted america's best outdoor retailer. >> greg: we are out of time. kat timpf. art studio audience! "fox news @ night" is next. [applause] >> trace: welcome to america's late news, "fox news @ night." i'm trace gallagher in los angeles. bring to light, like to print a button is in california fundraising so why is ron desantis going after gavin newsom? violent father's day weekend and even by chicago standards. we thought multiple mass shootings across the city, at least tended. cousins were there. we begin with the clock ticking on a deep sea to limit. massive search is for a tourist submarine carrying five people that disappeared on it